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Perfectionism
Although it is somewhat less common among 2e students than other gifted students., approximately 20% of gifted children suffer from perfectionism to the degree it causes problems.
Perfectionism Is Not
Perfectionism is not working hard on something nor even overworking for awhile to get something done on a deadline or out of passion for the work. It is not setting high personal standards or striving toward excellence. A difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is healthy strivers do the best they can with the time and tools they have yet have effective coping strategies for accepting mistakes, the inevitable less-than-perfect output and even the failures that will occur.
Dysfunctional Perfectionism Is
- Having a compulsive drive to achieve, where personal value is based on what is produced or accomplished
- Having unrealistic standards for self and unreasonable goals
- Having high, even paralyzing, anxiety about making mistakes
- Feeling guilty if not engaged in meaningful work at all
times
- Feeling continually dissatisfied about one's work--which can lead to depression, anxiety and other physical symptoms
- Questioning own judgment and having a high need for approval
- Procrastinating to the extreme out of fear of failure
When perfectionism becomes pervasive and compulsive, it leaves no room for error. It provides little satisfaction and much self-criticism because the results never feel good enough. Perfectionism becomes unhealthy when it causes stress, pain, illness, procrastination and underachievement.
A perfectionist will often feel shame, guilt, depression and have the need to "save face." They will often resort to one or more behaviors to help them hide their fear of being imperfect: 1) not starting a project, 2) not handing in a finished project, or 3) starting so many projects that there isn't time to complete any of them.
Strategies to Support Students with Unhealthy Perfectionism
(credit: Greenspon, 2007)
1) Dive In
Just start, you can always go back later and make changes. After you once dive in, try it again with something else you are putting off. The more times you dive in the easier it will become.
2) Not "right," just "write"
Write about your thoughts and feelings. See things you are getting better at, something you did well, make a list of things that help you relax and worry less.
3) Crack Up
Use humor, when you are feeling stress find something to laugh at. Laughter releases endorphins and makes your body feel better.
4) Move it
Move. Perfectionism puts a lot of stress on your body. Exercise is a healthy way to burn off stress.
5) Imagine someone else did it
Imagine if someone else did what you did. What would you say to your best friend if they did this? Would you think she is not good enough? Probably not, so be easier on yourself.
6) Just say no
Don’t take on so many tasks; practice saying no in many different ways like, “Sorry, but I’m busy right now, but thanks for asking!”
7) Do something that can't be judged
Try something that you aren’t judged on; something just for fun - even as simple as taking a walk or reading a book...
Optional:
To read Sylvia Rimm, a noted expert on perfectionism, (or to bookmark the site for future reading) - Click here.
To read about perfectionism from the National Association for Gifted Children - Click here.